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Whenever we talk of Indian wedding we try to equate it with arrange
marriages. In India the social structure is such that we associate Indian
marriages mainly with arrange marriages. Most of us have the feelings that
arrange marriage is the concept of Indian society. But history tells us that
arranged marriages use to happen even in the Victorian age. The history of
England tells us that most of the kings and queens had arranged marriages. In
India arrange marriages originated when child marriages was customary in the
country. Caste system gave birth to arrange marriages, as the upper caste
families didn't want their children to marry outside their community and caste.
The concept of love marriage was a taboo in ancient India as India always had a
tradition of arranged marriages. But after World War II and industrial
revolution people's perception started changing and they became familiar with
the concept of love marriages. In India the influence of the British culture
gave rise to love marriages. The idea, which was once a taboo, became more open
and acceptable in the Indian society. But this change was seen only among the
educated and high society Indians. The rural parts of the country remained
ignorant and unaware of love marriages. In spite of the social changes arranged
marriage persisted.
Love or arranged marriages is still a debatable topic in the Indian society.
People still debate on the issue, which one is better. What should be the basis
of the marriage love or social norms? We are still confused about these issues.
Education and media played a vital role in changing the perception of the Indian
mind. As people started thinking beyond the social customs and traditions of
arranged marriages. They realized that they have the right to choose their life
partner without any kind of social pressure. It is after all their life. They
can decide without having to rely on parents, relatives and matchmakers. This
change in the mental set up of the people gave birth to love marriages. Now in
India people are open to love marriages. It is no more forbidden in the society.
In our country we are having both love and arranged marriages. If we start
comparing love and arranged marriages we will see that both has certain pros and
cons. But the common factor in both the concept is physical attraction. When a
man and a woman go out on their first date physical attraction is the deciding
factor. Same in case of arranged marriage where the relation starts only after
the girl or boy likes each other. But there are certain things, which are found
in love marriages and not in arranged. Like spending time together and getting
to know each other. Because when you have decided to spend the life together it
is important you know the person. There should be metal compatibility and
understanding among both of you. And this happens when you spend time together.
On this people may argue that even after knowing each other for so long than why
people get divorced after marriage. It is because when two people are in love
they are at their best to impress each other. They behave, they talk and they
wear what the other person likes. But it is after marriage that you get to know
the real person. There are couples who are still discovering each other even
after twenty years of their marriage. This is the actual beauty of a
relationship where everyday you discover a new thing about your partner.
In case of arranged marriages the relation starts when the girl and the boy get
to know each other in a couple of meeting before the final commitment. Before
deciding anything the parents check the family background and financial
stability. Which is also very important. As most of the people have an idea that
those who go for arranged marriages are not in an advantageous position but it's
not so you may get the right person for whom you have been waiting. Even in love
marriages after many years of courtship people find their partner not suitable
and they break up. So it is not about spending time together but successful
marriage is all about understanding and respecting each other's feelings, love
and concern. It is argued that love marriages offer more independence and
freedom as compared to arranged marriages since both of them knows each other so
the social pressure and family pressure is less. If you know somebody before
marriage it allows partners to have better respect and understanding for each
other's needs and desires. In love marriages expectations are more compared to
arrange marriages, as they know each other and want their partner to act in the
best possible manner.
Arranged marriages, offer more protection, security to the women. As the parents
decides the family. Parents make use of maturity and wise decision while
choosing suitable spouses for their children. The mature decision of parents
sometimes helps to make the right choice. But it doesn't mean that arranged
marriages are ideal marriages. Even in an arranged marriage there is a different
sort of social pressure. Social evils like dowry, caste system, matching of
horoscopes and community issues are taken at such extreme levels that people
don't support arranged marriages. So whether it is love or arranged ultimately
it is up to the individual to decide, which one to go for. Love or arranged both
is based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. So it's not
just about initial love and attraction it needs a lot of dedication and effort
to sustain a marriage. So there is nothing like an ideal marriage it's all about
the way you perceive your marriage. After all you should be happy with your life
partner irrespective of love or arranged marriage.